The Gift Emerges From the Wound - Forgiveness Unlocks the Door to Creative Intelligence

What exactly is Creative Intelligence? What is that void that appears to give form to everything? Source, Love, God, and the Essence of Who I Am are all manifestations of Creative Intelligence. I find Essence deep within, like a silent reflecting pool of stillness. That Essence is accessed through forgiveness. I wish to be forgiven. Please forgive me for not knowing how to forgive. Forgiveness has liberated me. To know what it is Creative Intelligence, click here

If we create our reality, why was my reality not what I intended? I'd placed numerous orders in the cosmic kitchen. Unfortunately, I rarely got what I asked for. The universe responds to the vibration we emit. Anger and resentment drain the life force and weaken our request to the universe. It keeps conscious manifestation from happening.

Every one of us is an artist. We build our lives around the family blueprint. I grew up as a depressed little girl who felt isolated and alone. Like actors on a stage, my dysfunctional family repeated the same storylines repeatedly. I knew I was unique but desired to be like everyone else. That was more secure. Because the imprints of powerlessness were deeply imprinted on my cellular memory, I gave up my power. I put my husband in charge of my life to "honor" the genetic line of codependency.

I got a headache about a year into my life as a new bride--nothing a couple of Tylenol couldn't fix. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow. The following day. I increased the medication, then added Valium and antidepressants to the mix. Nothing has changed. Life had devolved into a funk. My world shrank to the bare necessities. Every day, I needed sixteen hours of sleep. I was tired all the time. I'm sick of thinking all the time. I'm sick of being angry and keeping my heart shut. For fifteen years, the headache didn't go away.

Caroline Myss stated, "Your biography becomes your biology." Childhood messages are stored in this "basket" known as the body. I internalized and embodied old cultural and parental messages. The headache served as a signal to stop thinking and start feeling.

The headache told me I was living in my head rather than my heart. I am angry at the world, my family, and my husband. Mostly, I'm mad at myself for allowing these life-threatening situations to enter my life. My anger saved my life. I was about to leave the safety zone. Marriage isn't meant to be a safety net. My husband and I divorced. For the first time, I felt strong and... terrified. My heart had been closed by layers of anger and fear. Healing is a sensation. The floodgates were opened. Forgiveness could be a healing balm that flowed through my being. The headache went away entirely over time.

Self-forgiveness is the ultimate form of forgiveness. Nothing else is essential. My family and ex-husband were simply reflections of my unresolved wounds.

"No problem can be solved at the level where it is created," Einstein once said. Not being able to forgive kept me in the wound, in pain. It keeps the pain "alive." Patterns repeat themselves. Forgiveness raises our vibrational frequency. It brings us back into contact with the Source. It replenishes your tank.

The headache told me I was spinning around, trying to feel and avoid feeling like a dog chasing its tail. So I learned to listen to my body's language. I learned how to be, breathe, and let go. Later on, I refined and expanded these methods of serving my clients.

Instead of simply ignoring when I am hurt, I now pay attention when my anger rises and I feel violated. I used to smile even when my body warned me something was wrong. I'm paying attention now. My heart now longs to be free to express itself. I've chosen to feel, forgive, and let go. I forgive all of the actors who took part in the screenplay I wrote for my life. Most of the time, I forgive myself.

It is simple for me to give love when I am clear and in touch with my feelings. It is a natural extension of the Source energy that flows through me. My point is depleted when I give from emptiness. My tank is completely finished. True transformation requires allowing the light of forgiveness to reach the cellular level and shed the layers of illusion, the lies we embodied and mistook for truth.

Even now, I make assumptions, project blame, or jump to hasty conclusions. Yet, the gift is reclaimed every time I leave the wound. Present moment awareness, like a healing balm or a gentle breeze, gently shifts and transforms the old landscape, the cellular memory. Forgiveness, like clearing rocks from a riverbed, restores the flow.

The veil of deception has been lifted. The past has been liberated. The focus is on the present.
I can now use my authentic gifts as a teacher and healer rather than through the narrow lens of my unfinished business.

Even though I am still "under construction," forgiving has given me a spring in my step and a lightness in my heart. I am dedicated to mastering my thoughts and emotions and accepting responsibility for how they affect my physical body.